Think about what a woman values most. The husband often believes it’s what he gives her: his time, gifts, treating her with love and respect, and providing for the family. But none of that matters much if she feels that he does not desire emotional intimacy with her. First on her list is sensing that he wants to be with her. She needs to know that he wants her above all else. If she feels like he’s merely trying to fulfill some sort of obligation, she won’t respond like she would if his motivation was desire for her alone.
So it is with God. Like many husbands, we busy ourselves with lots of things in our attempt to please God. But are those things really all that valuable if our motivation stems from an attempt to satisfy some requirement, rather than from a sincere desire for intimacy with Him?
From Free from the Power of Sin: the Keys to Growing in God in Spite of Yourself